


already brushing off the dust

by their_dark_materials



Category: FinnPoe - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Stormpilot - Fandom
Genre: Canon Compliant, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Gay yearning, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Leia Organa, Pining Poe Dameron, Poe's return from Jakku, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23244646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/their_dark_materials/pseuds/their_dark_materials
Summary: Leia smiles. She’s never seen him like this. It’s a welcome reprieve from everything else, to see Poe Dameron himself a little flustered and possibly  lovesick.
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron & Leia Organa, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 29
Kudos: 311





	already brushing off the dust

She’s more than used to war and loss. She’s seen more than her fair share of both. But every now and then they get a win and Leia’s since learned she has to savour them. 

Today’s comes in the form of a distress call from Jakku, transmitting a very specific call sign. 

_Poe Dameron. Alive and well._

Or at least, as well as he can be after getting captured by the First Order and having escaped. Leia tries not to think of the cost this specific win might have come at, the pieces of himself he might have had to give up just to make it out of there. Instead, she focuses on being thankful — not just for herself, but for the entire rebellion; a silent weight now lifted off her shoulders. 

_Poe Dameron. Alive and on his way back to the base, Snap Wexley having flown out to fetch him._

Leia allows herself a small smile when Connix finishes relaying her report, before dismissing the young lieutenant with a wave of her hand. She’s never had the luxury of feeling every loss as it comes, but she knows she would have felt this one deeply — and not just because Poe Dameron’s one of the finest pilots this rebellion has been fortunate to have in its ranks, as well as a natural-born leader. 

No, when Leia thinks of Poe she thinks of long nights spent on Yavin IV, laughing and chatting with his parents, Shara and Kes, Han and Luke by her side as Poe and Ben played in the other room. He’d had just as smart a mouth back then too, always talking before thinking. She remembers all the times he’d badgered Han with questions about the Millennium Falcon, already obsessed with his mother’s A-Wing and having to be convinced not to wear her helmet to the dinner table. 

_Poe Dameron. Still alive. And out there causing trouble._

Leia sits back in her seat, smile widening as she lets the relief wash over her.   
  


::::: 

The moment she has a minute she goes down to the base’s medbay to check on him, the doctor who’s treating him still holding him for observation. 

“General!” Poe beams the moment he sees her walk through the door, and Leia’s heart feels lighter for hearing him. 

“Please tell her I don’t need to be here,” Poe continues on, clearly less concerned about his _almost dying_ than she is. He glares at the Twi’lek doctor examing him. “I’m _fine_.”

“Listen to the doctor, Poe,” Leia greets him sternly, dark eyes taking in the state of him. Poe’s sitting on one of the few examining tables they have, dressed in just a slightly-torn beige shirt and his usual brown pants — almost the same outfit he’d left here in — but he doesn’t look any worse for wear than the rest of them. 

At least physically. 

Poe looks at her pleadingly but doesn’t say a word, and for now, Leia finds she doesn’t have the heart to say no to him. Shara Bey’s son is just as persuasive as his mother at times like this and she had promised she’d look out for him — even when he’s being foolish. So she nods at the doctor, silently dismissing her, before turning her attention to the stubborn young pilot in front of her. Poe grins back at her, a little smug at his achievement.

Leia sighs inwardly. She’ll be disavowing him of any such feelings shortly.

“I heard _he_ was there,” she says softly, frowning as she adds, “Ben.” 

Leia knows full well her son goes by another name now, one used by the rest of the galaxy, but she refuses to say it; only spitting it out when she has to, hating that _this_ is what’s become of him. That _this_ is the life he’s chosen. 

At the sound of Ben’s name, some of the light in Poe’s eyes fades, the cheeky smile dimming on his lips 

“Uh, yeah. He was.” Poe looks away. He doesn’t look back at her when he says, “He’s the one who questioned me.”

“Oh.” 

Something in Leia’s stomach drops at those words, the space it leaves rapidly filling with dread and anxiety. She knows what Ben’s capable of. She’s been listening to reports of it for years now. But to get confirmation of what she’d feared he’d done to Poe is something else entirely, and she wishes instantly she hadn’t brought it up — not because she doesn’t want to know, but because she’s afraid she doesn’t know how to fix it. 

“I’m sorry, Poe,” Leia tells him, meaning it with everything she has. In many ways, it feels like she’s spent her life making up for the sins of the men in her life and today it’s no different. 

She can nearly hear Poe’s neck _snap_ as he turns to look at her, fixing her with dark determined eyes. “You don’t have to apologise for _anything_. I knew the risk going in.”

Leia takes in his face, the cut on his bottom lip, the scratch on his cheek, the tired lines all over the rest of his face, and wonders how he can seem so young and so much older all at the same time; still the curly-haired boy running around in her memories and the battle-wearied commander she’d recruited straight out of the New Republic Naval Academy herself. 

She smiles at him sadly. “Yes, but no one expects to be questioned in that particular way. It’s not something you can prepare for.”

Any argument Poe had been building seems to fade away, as he swallows and looks away, sadness clouding his expression. 

“It was like when we were kids,” he explains, voice a little distant, like he’s lost in a memory. “I used to think it was cool when he read my mind like that. But now…” 

He looks back at her, less sad and more ashamed. “If Finn hadn’t gotten me out of there I would have told him everything.”

Poe seems to be debating whether he should tell her something else. Eventually, he comes to a decision because he says, “He’s definitely not Ben anymore.”

Leia nods in understanding. “I know.” 

She takes a step forward and gently cups the side of Poe’s face. She smiles when he leans into it. “I also know that it wouldn’t have been your fault if you had told him everything.” 

She fixes him with a look she hopes is as kind as it is stern. “It’s hard to say no to the Force like that… Trust me.”

She thinks of that time her own father had questioned her this way, the fear she’d felt at the time, and the countless nights of lost sleep after, not to mention the occasional worry that her mind might give up her secrets without her wanting to; all things she’d eventually had to overcome. Now, of course, she knows Vader was probably taking it easy on her, even if he had barely gotten anything. Sometimes she wonders just how much of it had been her strong will, and how much her nascent Force sensitivity.

Poe’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open slightly. He nods back quietly. Leia’s relieved to see he looks less burdened, that little furrow in his brow having receded.

“So,” she says, eager to change the subject as she retracts her hand and steps back. There’ll be plenty of time to discuss what’s going to come next. She wants to know how he got here. “Tell me more about this… _Finn_ , and how they got you out of there.”

Of all the things she’d been expecting from this answer Leia hadn’t thought she’d see Poe’s eyes light up and his cheeks turn pink.

“Finn’s a stormtrooper,” Poe explains, slowly getting more animated. “He lied to them and broke me out.”

Poe smiles, more to himself than to her. “He needed a pilot.” 

Leia grins inwardly. Only Poe Dameron could get captured and tortured by the First Order, and come away slightly smitten with a stormtrooper — a stormtrooper who broke him out no less. She thinks of the time Luke came to rescue her in that same garb. She’d thought the whole thing ridiculous. Poe clearly has different feelings about that. 

“We stole a TIE Fighter and got out of there,” Poe tells her, clearly reliving that memory. “We would have gotten back here if they hadn’t shot us down on Jakku.”

He fixes her with an urgent look. “We have to get back there.”

“I know,” Leia nods, not wanting him to get more agitated. Poe needs a shower and a night of rest after what he just went through. Not another rescue mission.

“But the map is back there,” Poe explains, a note of desperation in his voice. “I gave it to BB-8.”

Leia can see the guilt he’s trying to hide, beating himself up for a fleeting moment of happiness when he should be focused on the mission. She decides to put a stop to it right then.

“We can go back to Jakku once you rest up.” This time she isn’t trying to be kind, she can’t have her best pilot making things any riskier than they are. And besides, they have bigger fish to fry right now. There are rumours the First Order is getting ready to test a new weapon. The map isn’t as urgent as it had been. 

Still, she knows what it is to miss someone you might have feelings for — even if you’d only just met them. “We’ll look for Finn too.”

She can see a quiet fear in his gaze, a question he hasn’t wanted to voice aloud. “I’m sure he survived as well. I mean, look at you.”

That gets her a grin from Poe, as he nods back hopefully, a little more confident than he’d been a second ago.

“Right. I need to be getting back,” Leia says, getting ready to leave. “Think I’ve left D’Acy in charge for long enough. No one deserves to be punished like that.”

As she’s turning to leave she can see Poe get ready to do the same. So she looks back and glares at him. “Commander Dameron, you better not be trying to _leave_.”

“But General-“ Poe protests like he had before, but this time she puts her foot down.

“That’s an order, Poe.” 

Unlike a few minutes ago, he already looks too tired to argue, the past day having caught up with him. 

Leia waits until he turns and lays down on his side before nodding at the Twi’lek doctor to summon her over. 

As she’s leaving, she hears a familiar exclamation. “I told you, I’m _fine._ I don’t need any more tests.”

Leia smiles as she turns to exit the medbay. Looks like he’s going to be just alright.

_Poe Dameron. Still alive. Still out there causing trouble._   
  


:::::

ONE WEEK LATER

She’s searching for a space to take a moment to herself when she settles on the medbay. Most of the doctors and nurses have turned in for the night, and any patients must be fast asleep now.

But walking through the doors she sees that she’s wrong, the space isn’t completely empty. Poe sits curled up in a chair by Finn’s side, half asleep as he watches over him.

Leia’s about to turn and exit when Poe startles awake, noticing her seconds later. 

“General,” he mumbles, getting to his feet, Naval Academy training kicking in. 

“Relax, Poe,” Leia greets, waving a hand as she approaches Finn’s station. He’s still deep in his medically-induced coma, covered in bacta-gel, which is working hard to heal him. “How’s he doing?”

When she looks at the pilot, she can see the worry etched in his face and the toll the exhaustion is taking on him. She can also see he’s not ready to move away any time soon, so ordering him to do so would be useless. 

“The doctors say he’s making good progress,” Poe explains, running a hand through his hair, as he looks from Finn to her, tearing his gaze away at the last moment. 

Leia’s relieved to hear he sounds optimistic, a far cry from his worried desperation a few days ago, when he’d all but begged the medical staff to “do everything” they could. Snap had had to drag him away from Finn just so they could continue with the other man’s treatment. 

“How about you?” Poe asks, tone a little more serious. “How are you doing?”

He doesn’t need to say it, for her to know what he’s referring to. Everyone’s been tiptoeing around it for days now, trying to give her space to grieve even though they’re in the midst of a war now. 

“I’m doing alright,” Leia answers, turning away from Poe to gaze down at Finn’s resting form. “As alright I can be right now.”

Poe moves from where he’s at Finn’s right side and comes around the bed near where Leia’s standing at his feet. She smiles up at him sadly, before turning to look back at Finn.

They stand there in silence, letting the sound of the machines working fill the room with gentle whirs and beeps.

“I felt it as it happened,” Leia finally says, her eyes tracking Finn’s chest, the way he quietly inhales and exhales. “The moment Han…” 

Poe doesn’t say anything, but she can feel him nod. She’s grateful he doesn’t attempt any of the platitudes some people have tried. After all, what _can_ someone say when your husband dies, stabbed in the chest by your _son_? 

Leia sighs, long and deep. “I just never thought he would do something like this. And certainly not to his own father.”

She feels a lump form in her throat and stinging in her eyes when she says that, but she doesn’t attempt to swallow and push it down like she has any time she’s been in public this week. Instead, she lets her tears fall freely, not caring if he sees. 

Poe doesn’t say anything, but he does reach out, covering her right hand, which is resting on the railing at the base of Finn’s station, with his left one; rough calloused skin, meeting her much softer one. He gives it a squeeze and Leia accepts it gratefully. 

She’d shed tears before Rey and Chewie (and Finn) had returned in the Falcon, and she’d continued to shed them after, in the privacy of her quarters. Part of her had felt foolish for mourning a man she’d barely seen in these last few years, pain and failure as parents creating a gulf of distance between them. But a bigger part had felt ripped away; yet another hole in her heart that she can’t fix. 

First, her parents and Alderaan. Then, Luke. Then, Ben. Now finally, Han — and just when she’d felt like she’d finally gotten him back, that familiar spark still at play between them. 

_I’ve always hated watching you leave…_

More tears fall as she thinks of that being their final goodbye, one of many they’d had to say in battle. She’s grateful they’d actually gotten to see each other again, rather than her having to hear from one of their allies that something had happened to him while he’d been away, without either of them having managed a proper reconciliation. 

Still, it doesn’t do anything to dull the loss, the pain still fresh days later. She knows healing will come with time, she just doesn’t have the luxury of that right now. Generals can’t afford to fall apart in front of their people. 

Luckily, she knows she can do that in front of Poe, knowing full well he’d never say anything to anyone and respect her privacy. He’d come to her quarters a few nights before, to share a drink and reminisce about Han, the young pilot mourning him in his own way. ( _“He said he’d let me fly the Falcon someday,”_ Poe had told her sadly, recalling one night he’d slept over at their home when he was five, the small boy full of questions about the ship. _“But first I had to learn to be a better smuggler.”_ Leia had laughed when he’d reminded her of that, Poe having gone home determined to get into smuggling, much to Shara and Kes' immense dismay.)

After enough time passes, Leia wipes away her tears and then moves her left hand and squeezes the top of Poe’s on her right one, a small sandwich of mutual reassurance. 

They break apart and she’s about to say something when she notices something familiar draped on the seat he’d been sitting on a few moments earlier. 

“What happened to your jacket?” She turns to look up at him. 

Poe’s cheeks turn pink remarkably fast and he clears his throat as he answers, “Uh. It’s Finn’s now. He found it when I lost it on Jakku.”

Jakku feels like a lifetime ago. 

“I said he could keep it.” Poe’s speaking again, the flush in his cheeks deepening as he tries to give off the semblance of calm, even though he’s bashful.

Leia smiles. She’s never seen him like this. It’s a welcome reprieve from everything else, to see Poe Dameron himself a little flustered and possibly lovesick. (Most of the resistance has nursed crushes on him throughout the years, something Leia’s actually tried to use as part of recruitment.) 

“He was actually wearing it when…” Again, Poe doesn’t tell her what she already knows, what she’ll always be a little haunted by.

“I’m sorry, Poe,” Leia says, looking up into his eyes, and meaning every word of it. If it were any other jacket, it wouldn’t matter as much, but this one belonged to both his parents, a gift from Kes to Shara, before eventually being given to Poe, who’d worn it religiously until _he’d_ gifted it to Finn, only for it to get damaged. 

“It’s alright,” Poe reassures her. “I’ll just sew it up.”

Despite herself, Leia lets out a laugh, her shoulders shaking with full-bodied mirth at his words. 

“What?” Poe asks her, brow furrowing in confusion. “What did I say?”

“I’m sorry,” Leia says when she finally calms down. “But I’ve seen your sewing skills.” 

She smiles at him, but he’s rolling his eyes. 

“I’ve gotten a lot better,” he protests, in no way annoyed. 

Leia gazes at him fondly. “Tell you what, why don’t you try and repair that yourself, then come see me when you finish?”

Poe looks like he’s going to argue but then he must see something in her face, because he just sighs and nods.

“Yeah, I guess. I do want him to still be able to wear it.”

Leia’s smile widens. For all the ways she can sometimes see Han in Poe, there’s a willingness to listen to reason she knows is all his parents. Shara and Kes always showed more sense than either her or Han. But that’s what had made her love him. Even if he was a scruffy-looking nerf herder sometimes.

“I’m sure he’d wear it even _if_ you mess up,” Leia tells him, nodding at Finn. She’d seen the way the young man had looked at Poe when they’d spoken after the briefing, Poe going over to check how he was doing; a mixture of excitement and shyness playing across his face, that could only speak to the blooming of a romantic interest. 

Poe shakes it off, even though his cheeks are still a bright pink.

“You think?” He asks after gazing at Finn for a long beat, then turning back to her.

“Oh, I _know_ ,” Leia tells him, confident in this if not much else. “Finn’s going to need something to wear when he gets up. You better get sewing, Dameron.”

She winks at him and that earns her another eye roll and a pleased grin, and for a moment Leia feels nothing but peace; like stepping on a sandbar in an ocean of grief, the waves barely touching her. 

Leia may have lost the love of her life, but right now, someone else may be finding his own — as well as all the heartache that comes with the territory. 

_Poe Dameron possibly in love_. 

She wonders if the galaxy can handle it.

**Author's Note:**

> I started this inklings of this fic a while ago, but I'm only just managed to get back into it and finish it. I've always wanted some moments where Leia and Poe got to acknowledge their connection and history a bit more, as well as what it might have meant for to her to almost lose him and (eventually) Han during _Force Awakens_ as it really juxtaposed the ending of one relationship with the start of another. The idea of two people meeting and falling in love in the midst of a war really spoke to me, as it's what happened with Han and Leia in the original trilogy, and for me, to Poe and Finn in the sequels. 
> 
> Apologies if I get any details wrong, but I'm working off the movies alone. Not to mention _Star Wars_ is a vast property and I am but one person attempting to play in this sandbox. If you have any thoughts, comments, questions, or concerns, please drop me a line down below or over on tumblr or twitter under @rustandruin. 
> 
> I know this is a stressful time for all of us, so I hope you and your loved ones are doing as well as they can.


End file.
